dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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