end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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