I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
