pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
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