I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Naked Twister starts at high noon
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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