just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
