Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
