U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
