Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i already hear my dad disowning me
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
