wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize