brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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