For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
It's just like the Real World with babies
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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