I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize