im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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