CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
