Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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