So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
