I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
do herpes really smell.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
