Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
