hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
