My balls are so social today.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
