She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
