So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
