none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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