So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
