hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
