Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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