No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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