You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Randomize
