Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
