I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
