1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He has the fingertips of a God
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