At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
