your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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