covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
