2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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