i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
