Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
