I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
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