we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
