SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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