I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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