In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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