North Korea, Best Korea!
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
im holly from the hills drunk
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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