if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
