Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
