Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize