gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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