you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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