gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
