i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
