Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
