"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
