oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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