Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
