i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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