So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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