Sponge bath it is.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
