dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
