Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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