i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
