who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
