Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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