If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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