I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
