Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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