he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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